Dawn of a Hopeful Future, After the Dark Night
by Faded-Shadow
Summary: Allen's hurting inside after everything he's been through. Lavi/Allen friendship. Not as bad as it sounds! or at least I don't think so so please R & R! No longer oneshot! I'll continue it for a while longer!
1. Chapter 1

**Dawn of a Hopeful Future, After the Dark Night**

**  
A smile so bright and blinding fools even the most observant people. Allen Walker produced those kinds of smiles. Allen would smile everyday and continue on with his life almost as if nothing has happened. But how much pain lies behind his false smile, hidden deep in his heart?**

**_A/N: Hey guys! I really hope you like this short (or at least I think it's short) story I made up. I kinda liked how this turned out. I'd appreciate it a lot if you guys reviewed. Your criticism helps me become better: both good and bad. Hope you like it!!

* * *

_**

"Allen Walker sure is an interesting kind of human. Don't you think so too, Gramps?" Lavi asked Bookman one day. He was in the library memorizing a stack of thick books and parchments that Bookman assigned him.

"That he is. He is a kind and caring boy. A boy who will never seem to give up. I have to say that Allen's determination has even given me the hope that we'll defeat the Millennium Earl," Bookman said. Lavi smirked.

"Oh, what's this? Have you fallen in love with Allen, Panda? I didn't think you felt that way!" Bookman landed a kick in Lavi's face that sent Lavi flying backward crashing into a book case.

"Don't say such idiotic things!! Shouldn't you be memorizing all these books?! Get to work!" Bookman turned around and left the library, clearly very furious.

"Damn, Panda..." Lavi cursed silently. "I've already finished memorizing most of this crap this morning. Can't I take a break?" In less than 5 hours, Lavi finished reading what he had to memorize. It wouldn't have taken so long, but Lavi had fallen asleep in the middle of a book for about 2 hours. After putting everything away, Lavi walked through the corridors to his room. There was a faint sound suddenly filling the corridor.

"What was that?" Lavi whispered to no one in particular. Lavi listened closely. It sounded like some sort of song. "A melody?" Lavi turned the opposite direction he was heading and followed the sound. He went up some stairs and turned a few times. He hit a dead end only once. It gradually became closer and until the sound became crystal clear. He had reached a door open just a crack. The door Lavi had reached, on the highest floor of the order, let out to a balcony. Someone was singing.

_**On the night when silver eyes swing, the shining you who was born.**_

_**Millions of years,**_

_**No matter how many millions of years return the prayers to earth,**_

_**I continue praying,**_

_**Love for the last,**_

_**Kiss for the joined hands...**_

_'That voice...'_ Lavi knew it well. "Allen...?" Lavi clamped his mouth shut with his hands. He hadn't meant to say that last part aloud. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Who's there?" Allen asked turning around. Lavi stepped out into the balcony and gave Allen an embarrassed grin.

"Yo, Allen! What are you doing up so late?" He walked beside Allen and leaned backward against the railing of the balcony. With his hands resting behind his head, he looked up into the full moon.

"I could ask you the same thing," Allen replied resting his arms on the railing, looking up at the full moon, too. "You seriously gave me a scare, Lavi." He sighed. Lavi glanced at him, before looking back at the moon.

"So you were the one singing, Allen?" Allen turned his head towards Lavi in surprise. Lavi kept his eyes on the moon, but from the corners of his eyes he saw Allen move.

"You... heard me, Lavi?" Allen stared at the floor. His voice was hushed almost as if he wanted that to be kept a secret. Lavi shifted his gaze from the moon back to Allen, who was still staring at the floor. His shoulders shook.

"A-Allen?" Lavi felt a sudden dread come over him. It was one of those new emotions he frequently experienced whenever one of his friends seemed to be struggling with something. He couldn't quite tell if it was fear, concern, or sorrow. Maybe it was a mixture of them all. Lavi placed his hand on Allen's shoulder and gripped it gently.

"Allen!" This time Allen reacted. He looked up at Lavi. Lavi couldn't help but gasp when he saw Allen's eyes were glazed over. He smiled but the smile did not reach his eyes.

"N-no. It's nothing really..."

"Allen," Lavi suddenly remembered were the song had sounded familiar. "That song sounds a lot like the melody that you played in the ark." Allen froze, his smile fading.

"That's because... it is."

"That melody had words...?" Lavi asked out loud, making a mental note of it to tell Bookman. Suddenly his eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you tell us before?"

"Heh... Do you think of me as an enemy too, Lavi? Or is that to be expected of a Bookman?" Allen chuckled darkly. Lavi could suddenly feel a wave of guilt crash into him when he realized what he just said. He felt hurt by what Allen had told him. It was a harsh thing of Allen to say. But he was right. Lavi grit his teeth, not with anger, but pain.

"Sorry..." Allen finally said, with his back towards Lavi, "It's just that... That song... It meant so much to me... I feel as though... it was the only thing keeping me sane. Although it nearly drove me insane when that song just sort of appeared out of nowhere in my head." Allen's voice had lost all emotion. It was depressing. Lavi couldn't seem to do anything to comfort his friend and he hated himself for that. Bookman Jr. took in all the detail without a single shred of sympathy or empathy.

"Lavi... I wanted that song to be mine. It may sound selfish and all, but that song is like a lullaby a mother sings to her child. Like someone was singing to me... I didn't want anybody else to have it. It hurts, Lavi. Everything I knew and loved was a lie. My life might have been decided before I was even born. The order -my home- was something I wanted to protect. After all, I had many friends, who were kind to me, and worth living for. But I might end up destroying the place I want to protect because of the 14th. The people, who were so kind to me once, have turned their backs on me, probably wanting me to die already. I feel like its best I die, sometimes. It's ironic really.... I've had enough! I don't want this anymore! It would be better for everyone if I really did die! They wouldn't have to live in fear anymore because of me."

Choked sobs began to come out of Allen. Lavi couldn't believe the Allen he knew, would be in so much agony. The Allen he knew would always move forward, but it seems like the burden he was carrying had caught up with him and came crashing down.

Lavi did not resist, nor did he care that it wasn't something a Bookman did, the urge to reach out and embrace Allen. Shocked by Lavi's action, Allen looked up at him with puffy, red eyes, tears still threatening to spill over.

"Allen, you're a strange 15-year-old. Or is it 16 already? You gotta remind me when you're birthday is," Lavi grinned. Then his expression softened to that of an older sibling comforting his younger sibling. "You take on too much pain and weight on your scrawny shoulders, and you bottle everything up inside. Don't you think it's time to let that all out? There are still people out there worried for you, Allen… counting me. It's okay. You haven't done anything wrong. It's okay to cry now, Allen."

The tears finally spilled over. Allen buried his face in Lavi's chest and cried. Lavi finally realized that Allen always had a side of him that resembled a frightened and hurting child locked deep inside him. Allen wasn't always as hopeful as he portrayed himself to be. After a long hour, Allen's sobs quieted down. Lavi had stroked his hair in hope of comforting him. It seemed to have a good effect because Allen had stopped trembling. Lavi couldn't help but grin.

"Hey, Allen... You remind me of a lost kitten. You always seem to need someone to hold you, just like a lost kitten. They're so cute!"

"I am not a cat, Lavi," Allen sniffed. Lavi's grin grew when he saw Allen had stopped crying.

"It's a _kitten_, Allen. There's a difference," He laughed. Allen finally looked up. His eyes were stained with tears, but he was smiling broadly that it surprised Lavi.

"Thank you, Lavi. I feel a lot better now," Allen yawned and broke away from Lavi and headed towards the door. "Thank you for helping me out of the darkness. I owe you one." Allen was half-way through the exit when he stopped.

"I'll teach it to you. That lullaby..." Allen murmured more to himself than to Lavi. And then he left dumbstruck Lavi alone on the balcony.

'_He's always moving forward no matter how hard it gets.' _Lavi looked out at the horizon when he noticed a light appear. The sky was a beautiful color of orange-purple-ish kind of pinkish. Lavi found it almost hard to believe that such a light could exist after the darkness that previously inhabited the sky. It was the dawn of a hopeful tomorrow. Lavi smiled when he realized what he was thinking and knowing the cause of it all.

_'Allen Walker really is an interesting human.'

* * *

_

_**Me: I always find myslef writing angsty sorta things. Is that bad? And you gotta admit that Allen can remind you of a lost kitten.**_

_**Allen: I am not a cat!**_

_**Lavi: Allen, how many times do I have to tell you that there's a difference?**_

_**Me: Why can't I own you guys? (cries in Lavi's arms)**_

_**Allen: Don't cry, Shadow-onee-sama.**_

_**Me: Shaddup! I wanna be in Lavi's arms, too! **_**[Ahem! Anyway, please review~!]  
**


	2. The Beginning of the End

_A/N: Hello to all that read this!! Thank you for choosing Faded-shadow, the weirdest most 'makes-you-wait' person out there!! =]_

_No, really. Sorry it took so long. Don't really have any time to type anything out. (Blame my idiot brothers!):_

_Well just saying. If no one actually reads this or no one likes it (except for hopefully a few), it's cool. I like to post things up anyway. Gives me a sense of: "Hey! I did something!"_

_Sorry it isn't as long or anything you hoped it to be! Enjoy!_

_

* * *

  
_

**The Beginning of the End**

Allen collapsed on his bed with a silent thump. He'd been outside for the whole night. Luckily, Link hadn't noticed Allen was gone the entire night. He was a heavy sleeper for a person who had to supervise and keep constant watch at all times.

Allen thought through the painful conversation he had with Lavi. The care-free facade Allen wore had finally cracked and burst open letting all the suppressed emotions out. And Lavi had been there to witness it.

Allen rolled over to his right side trying to get comfortable. But he couldn't. He had told Lavi about that song. It shouldn't have bothered him, yet that song... His song… It belonged to him.

_'No... That song belongs to me..._'

An icy voice sounded in Allen's head. Allen shut his eyes and ground his teeth as a sudden violent spasm shook him. There was an immense pain in every single muscle in his body.

He curled up into a little ball and clutched his chest tightly. His heart pounded loudly that it was the only thing that helped him stay focused on it rather than the agony.

He suddenly felt something cold wrap around him. Mustering up his strength, he managed to open his left eye. Allen nearly yelled from what he saw.

An ominous shadow loomed over him watching Allen with the glowing white orbs were his eyes would be. It smiled.

_  
'Insane, Allen? No, you're far from it... I'm just becoming you...'  
_

Allen let out a blood-curdling scream.

"Walker!!" Link shouted worriedly.

Allen became aware that he was lying face down in cold sweat. His screams were muffled by his pillow he had been clutching onto. Although he couldn't remember when he grabbed it... The image of the sinister shadow suddenly flashed into his mind. Allen quickly shot up only to collide with Link's forehead.

"OW!!" Link cried out and stumbled backwards to the floor. He rubbed his head. "What was that all about, Allen Walker?!"

"S-sorry, Link," Allen apologized while rubbing the back of his head. Link noticed the boy looked paler than usual.

"Did you have a nightmare, Walker?" Link asked curiously. He stood up and brushed the invisible dirt off his clothes, keeping an eye an Allen the entire time.

Allen didn't want to tell him of it. For all he knew, Link might think he was already the 14th.

_'But didn't he say he _was_ becoming me?'_ Allen shook his head trying to get rid of the thought. He finally answered.

"You could call it that. Jerry stopped cooking because a new chef took his place. It wasn't the same! The food was horrible! The new cook hated me and always burned my food! (To Kanda's amusement…) I'm so glad it was just a dream!"

Allen became quiet when he thought back to his 'nightmare'. Link's eyes narrowed. Any other fool would have been gullible enough to believe him. But Link wasn't any other fool. He knew Allen, he wasn't exactly close to him, but he knew him well enough to know when he used his poker face.

But he also knew that Allen wouldn't tell him anything…

"Well, I guess some of Jerry's cooking will help you feel better. Now get up! It's time for breakfast." Allen groaned and buried his face into his pillow.

"5 more seconds…. Make that minutes… Hours... Days... Years."

Link, upset with the boy's lack of energy, pulled off his blankets and snatched away the pillow, earning Link an even louder groan from Allen.

"Oi! What's the matter with you? Didn't you get enough sleep?"

_'Like anyone can get sleep when they stay up all night, and have a Noah take over them.'_ Allen smirked. "No, I slept just fine. With the pillow, and the blankets, and your Snoring."

Link stiffened. ".."

That did it. The verdict: a whole week of purely filling out papers and one very, VERY angry Link.

Allen didn't mind the pain that would surely come. As long as it got rid of that other pain, lurking deep within his own soul.

---_meanwhile---  
_

"Get Up, Lavi!!" ***WHACK!***

"OUCH!!" Lavi found himself crashing into the wall, his face receiving most of the impact. He cursed quietly, turning to glare at his grandfather.

"What the hell was that for, old man?! I was sleeping here!" Lavi grabbed his blanket and pulled it over him. He felt a bit silly trying to go to sleep on the cold floor, but it was a lot better than trying to get near his bed. _Never_ anger the Panda more than you need to.

"Didn't you get a good night's sleep? Or did the dark scare you and you decided to wait for the sun to come up?" Bookman watched Lavi's shoulders momentarily tense at the implication.

Lavi wanted to smack himself on the head. It really was a smart idea to have a room right next to the Panda's. Although, he didn't have much choice at the time.

Bookman had been keeping a close eye on him ever since Lavi had _'forgotten his way as a bookman'_. Lavi sighed and sat up, legs crossed and a blank face. He turned to face him.

"I already finished the whole memorizing thing. It's just that something came up… Something having to do with Allen Walker." Lavi watched Bookman's face go from unreadable to curiosity and anxiety. Lavi chuckled darkly.

"Don't worry. He still Allen as far as I can see. Last night I saw his mask finally crack. Nothing big, really."

"You will tell me what happened. As a bookman we must record all information." Bookman waited.

Lavi grimaced. He hated this part of the job. Before meeting everyone at the order, he couldn't care less about telling Bookman about their most private secrets.

Conversations or actions someone didn't want to be known, or something personal that the person wanted to keep quiet simply to not worry others, were secrets that Lavi whole-heartedly told Bookman. But now Lavi hated to give away the secret of a friend. Especially one who trusted and cared for him. Definitely a symptom of _'forgetting the way of a bookman'_. But Lavi told Bookman anyway. And Bookman listened to his well-detailed story.

"The pressure became too much for the boy. He broke down in tears. A pitiful sight, really. I think the only thing giving him comfort is that song he was singing." Lavi mentally kicked himself.

"Song? You mean that melody from the ark? There are words to it?" Bookman mused on this new info. He looked up at Lavi expectantly. "Did you happen to catch any of the words?"

This is what Lavi wanted to avoid. He had vowed to himself--To Allen--that he would never tell anyone. He shook his head.

"No. I couldn't catch a thing." Lavi kept a straight face as Bookman observed him. He prayed he wouldn't give himself away.

After a moment, Bookman sighed. "It's about time for breakfast, don't you think? Get up and go wash your face. Lavi face planted into his pillow on the floor.

"5 more seconds…. Make that minutes… Hours... Days... Years," And he found himself hurtling through the air again after a good kick from Bookman.

**-0-0-0-0-  
**

"Earl-sama." A young girl with short wild hair called. It was blue, but in the dim-lit room it looked black. Her bangs managed to cast shadows on her face, concealing her eyes.

"What, my dear?" The round man asked, his back to her.

"It's about time to get started, wouldn't you agree?" She smiled menacingly. She looked up, bright yellow eyes contrasting with her gray skin. The man chuckled, and he turned around.

"I completely agree with you, Road. Let's begin." The usual Cheshire grin on his face. "It's the beginning of the end. And this time Allen Walker shall die."

* * *

_Me: And that's the end, sadly. Was it horrible?? Should I have made it longer?? Did the cliff-hanger ruin it?? Should I have given up?? Are you going to review?! Should I stop talking now?!_

_Lavi: Nee-chan… *sweat drops*_

_Me: Ah, Lavi! Great timing! How's Allen?_

_Lavi: Um… he's still upset that you admitted you're a Kanda-fan girl._

_Me: There's no shame in that! Although I do hope he'll be okay… And it's not like I'm a rabid fan girl. Just a fan girl._

_Lavi: You squealed maniacally whenever you thought about putting him in one of your fics…_

_Me: Th-That's not true! I giggled because I wanted to put him at a funny moment!! There's a difference!_

_Lavi: Whatever you say…_

_Me: So please review! You'll make me happy! =D_


End file.
